Joke for Today

Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary.

One day the secretary announced she was pregnant. They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter.

The day of delivery arrived. Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room.

Finally one of them said, "I can't take this, I'm going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!"

The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face.

"What happened?" asked the waiting car occupant.

The other partner announced, "They were twins and mine died!"

Traveling Trama

I leave Saturday.


Clearly, I'm having trouble processing this fact. I guess it's just hard to believe James' time in Arizona is drawing to a close so soon. Before he left in May it seemed that four months was an interminable amount of time, almost to the end of forever. Now I'm shocked that it's already almost October again. Where did the year go? More specifically, what happened to Summer? At the start of the season I felt I had plenty of time to get things done, visit friends, accept the fact that I'm moving to Texas. Now all I can think is 'What the hell have I been doing all this time?!'

To be fair, you have to factor in time spent moving out of my apartment, a visit to Walker, a weekend with Matt, two trips to Arizona, and an Alaskan cruise. Oh, and let's not forget all those days spent in a huddle of pathetic misery because my husband (God, that still sounds weird, doesn't it? I have a husband!) was four states and three time zones away.

But to quit wallowing and return to my original point... Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah. I'm moving. To Texas. Christ.

Saturday I fly up to Arizona for the last time. James graduates from training (apparently the government no longer permits me to publish his actual job title anywhere in reference to his name, go figure) on Thursday. We should be in San Antonio by Friday night and house hunting with our Remax guy by Saturday. We'll be back in Fort Myers on the 10th for two weeks before we leave for good.

Look at me go. I'm faced with cold, hard, unadulterated facts. And yet I still can't believe it's real and going to happen. So soon. And still, I'm forced to accept the inevitability of reality: I signed myself up to be a Military Spouse and hope against hope, wish against wish, it's going to happen.

Life in the Desert

James left today for 10 days in the field. This essentially means that he will be living out in the desert, doing combat survival training, eating MREs and putting the Interrogation techniques learned in the classroom into practice. This will be done with the use of a fake town set up in the middle of nowhere, similar to those used in the 50's for bomb testing. The difference is this particular sham is designed to mimic an Iraqi town and will be filled with actors from whom the Interrogators-in-training will need to collect certain information.

As philosophically skewed as I find this, I can only bring myself to care that this is the most alone I have felt in the four months since James left for Arizona, as it is the first time that we will not be able to communicate for more than a few hours at a time.


That being said, I will focus on spending the next 9.5 days stewing in my own misery and eating Chinese takeout. Huzzah.

Time to Kill

Next time you have nothing to do and are feeling too lazy to go to Blockbuster to rent a movie, as I often am, you should check out this site. SurfTheChannel allows you to choose from millions of movies, television shows, music and more, all for free. Since Leah turned me on to it earlier this week, I've watched several movies all with very decent quality and clarity. So check it out. Go on... Scoot.

Bubba's Two Assholes

I haven't blogged in a while since my life has been so hectic. Here's a joke to make it all better. Enjoy.




Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"